Avoiding Truthful Moments (Damon)

[Ashlyn Swallow G5]

She was warm. That was the first thought in Ashlyn’s mind as she let out a sleepy murmur that protested against the idea of waking up. She was warm and comfortable and the hand smoothing her hair felt nice so she wasn’t going to wake up. Whoa, wait. Ashlyn mentally considered her last thoughts. A hand smoothing her hair? Had one of her dorm-mates taken a whole new liking to her or something? No, that wasn’t quite right. She hadn’t fallen asleep in her dorm. It sounded absurd - because where else would she sleep? - but it was true. It was Samhain, or it had been when she had gone to sleep. There had been a ritual, James and Rister. Puzzled, Ashlyn’s mind tried to connect the three by searching her fuzzy memories to see what had happened. Ah, yes, that was right. Rister had interrupted her ritual, snatched her necklace from the centre of it. That would explain the cold chain she could feel in her hand. There had been an argument over why she had to sleep but Rister had obviously won. How annoying. Could she remember anything after that? Ashlyn searched her memory and gave up irritably when her mind remained blank. There was something half-remembered about Slytherins and Gryffindors but she couldn’t quite focus on it, obviously having been too far into the grips of sleep to listen properly.

Resigned to the idea that she wasn’t going to be able to go back to the warm recesses of sleep, not to mention curious about who was watching over her while she slept, Ashlyn opened her eyes, not really surprised to see Damon looking down at her. “Some people would consider that to be creepy,” she informed him bluntly before sitting up and stretching, covering a yawn with her hand. With her mind less clouded by sleep, the details of the events before she had fallen asleep – been forced to sleep was more accurate, Ashlyn grumbled good-naturedly – were clearer and she couldn’t help but to fold her arms across her chest defensively. She didn’t know how much Rister had shared with his brother, whether she wanted him to know it all or know nothing. She never really did know what to think when Damon was the topic of her musings. He seemed to be the exception to everything. If she wanted it, she had a clear view of his emotions and, eventually, a vague knowledge of his thoughts and yet he was still the most confusing person in the whole of Hogwarts. And James didn’t like him, didn’t like their bond but wanted her to open up to Damon all the same. Why couldn’t something just make sense for once?

She didn’t want to stay around and make conversation, Ashlyn decided restlessly. She had seen the disapproval of her actions in Rister; she wasn’t going to wait around to see the same reproach from Damon. She could drop by the Ravenclaw common room for a few moments to see Layla or spend a while with the twins, be anywhere that Damon and Rister weren’t. “I have to go,” Ashlyn spoke softly, determinedly not meeting Damon’s eyes as she shifted uncomfortably. “I still have homework to finish and I want to talk to Layla before fetching my bag. Enjoy the feast.” Hastily, Ashlyn walked to the door and then turned an annoyed glare on Damon when she realised that it was locked. “Unlock the door,” she demanded vehemently, hand clenching around the necklace subconsciously as she hoped that Damon wouldn’t question her or refuse to let her go so quickly. Normally she would have unlocked the door by herself but the ritual had depleted her magical reserves and it would take a lot more sleep, some food and a few potions before she was back to normal strength.

[Damon Graas R5]

Damon wondered how he had ended up in such a situation. He knew why he was sitting here looking over the sleep of the blonde Gryffindor. That made sense. But when had he grown just so fond of her? Sighing lightly, Damon tangled his fingers in Ashlyn’s hair, absently smoothing the blonde waves as he tried to trace back in his memories to find the moment when he had became so protective of her. Not that it was an easy task he had set before himself. But he had had a couple of hours to just sit and let his mind wander, which was sometimes good, before Ashlyn shifted. She made a sound that was a relatively good imitation of Damon in the mornings, he decided with a fair amount of amusement. He despised mornings as they took place far too early in the day. It was pleasing to see that Ashlyn wasn’t at her brightest when she woke either. Damon observed Ashlyn’s face closely, almost seeing how her mind started to work again.

Damon simply blinked in response when Ashlyn opened her eyes and greeted her with what seemed like a random though. “Some people would consider that to be romantic,” Damon countered swiftly, sending a grin to Ashlyn as he recalled their conversations about guys and chocolate and hormones the first time they had truly met and talked in the library and then on the way to the Hospital Wing. “But we can certainly discuss the matter further over some chocolate if you wish,” Damon drawled lazily at the recollection, even if his eyes took on a slightly wicked gleam. But Ashlyn stood up and stretched and Damon took the opportunity to do the same. Sure, the bed was comfortable enough but he had been sitting put without moving for a good couple of hours already. That was enough to make anyone’s muscles tense. Closing his eyes, Damon let his head drop back as he reached his arms up and arched his back slightly. Enjoying the tension and the slight pull on his muscles, Damon prolonged the stretch for a little while, before dropping his arms again with a content sight. Ashlyn’s next words made him open his eyes in slight surprise though. She had to go? Narrowing his eyes towards Ashlyn, Damon considered. Did she have to go or did she want to? There was some apprehension in the jumble of emotions in the bond and her arms were crossed over chest in a decidedly defensive gesture.

“Really?” Damon questioned absently, “You took off in such a hurry after class that If igured you’d already handled whatever you had in plan. Did Rister get you your book by the way? Was dragged off to an ex-prompt prefect meeting myself.” But his words only seemed to agitate Ashlyn more, by the look on her face. Damon arched a questioning eye-brow at that, his voice taking a more serious tone of voice: “If you’re worried, then Rister merely told me when and how much Dreamless Sleep potion you took and that you weren’t any more fond of Halloween than any of us is.” Ashlyn demanded that he opened the door and Damon simply looked at her. She was distraught, nervous, something else he couldn’t quite place. They both knew she had lied when she claimed to need to talk to Layla. Homework – might be, but somehow Damon doubted that too. So Damon simply looked at her. Not accusingly, not pleadingly, not even questioningly. He simply looked.

But, while he cared for her, he couldn’t really force her to reciprocate any such fondness, could he? If Ashlyn felt more comfortable lying to him or simply not telling him something, he would simply have to accept it as a fact it was. He might be irritated at it and he most likely was going to be after she left, but there was nothing he could do besides that. “You look pale and were out for long enough. The feast should be over soon so I’d rather you ate something,” Damon returned calmly, even as he stood and walked to the covered plates the house-elves had brought at one point. Lifting one of the covers, Damon smirked wryly at the sight of orange rice. Nonetheless, he lifted some on one of the plates the house-elves had also brought and started peering under other covers in search of some meat, throwing almost off-handedly over his shoulder: “The key is in the lock.”

[Ashlyn Swallow G5]

Ashlyn murmured incoherently for a moment as she rubbed her eyes with her hand, looking remarkably like a young child. “I don’t want chocolate,” she almost laughed, remembering the first time they had met. Damon had been so annoying but he had distracted her from her pain. She hadn’t been grateful at the time, being too much in pain and too irritated by him to even consider anything but hexing him, or at least smacking him. Things had changed so much since then. Though she did still want to curse him at times. How long had she been asleep? Unconscious would be a more apt word but Ashlyn didn’t like to consider herself as so weak that she would be so easily overcome by the depletion of her magic. She especially didn’t want to think about the fact that Rister had seen her during one of her weakest moments. She had been so pathetic.

“Something else came up,” Ashlyn answered uncomfortably, fighting to keep her face blank and her side of the bond closed. She was feeling too much, too overwhelmed; she didn’t want Damon to know her problems or to empathise with her. She didn’t even want him to be bonded to her. She wanted the privacy of her own head and soul back. She wanted to stop worrying about how vulnerable she was now that she was tied to Damon so intensely. She wanted to stop feeling so confused and she really wanted to know what she truly wanted. Because she just didn’t know anymore. “No, Rister didn’t give me my book. I guess I’ll get it off him later. But it’s good to know that he didn’t share any of my private business with you.” It was a subtle warning; her tone conveyed that much without any effort. Damon was already involved in too much of her life. Sometimes Ashlyn just wanted to keep something to herself, simply because that was what she was used to – it was normal for her to deal with everything herself and then Damon had suddenly come along and she was abruptly part of this big family unit that she wasn’t comfortable with at all. Ashlyn could deal with Rister, Gabriel, Jared, Morgana, Leandra and Lita. She could even deal with Kris and Cleo. She just couldn’t deal with all of them at the same time. She couldn’t even really deal with more than two of them at the same time. It was hard enough for her to deal with Damon and he was the one she was bonded to.

Thoughtfully, Ashlyn glanced at the door, noting the key that she had previously overlooked. It only took her a moment to make her decision. She was tired and her headache still throbbed at her temples. Could she really deal with Damon right now? She didn’t think so. More than a little bit ashamed, Ashlyn lowered her eyes to the floor and turned the key to unlock the door, leaving without a word. Not even five minutes passed before she turned on her heel and marched right back to the room she had left Damon in. It was time to stop hiding. They were bonded and she couldn’t deny that forever. It would be really nice if she could but there would always be Damon’s essence at the back of her mind, reminding her that she could never be alone. “You’re so confusing!” Ashlyn snapped heatedly, standing in the doorway as if she were afraid to move further into the room. “I’m bonded to you and I still never know what you’re thinking. There are just random flashes of some sort of weird affection through the bond and I don’t know what it means! And then I go and do something utterly ridiculous like hug you,” because she absolutely refused to even think about the fact that she had kissed him, Ashlyn omitted that information from her rant. “I don’t understand you at all, Damon Graas, and it’s making me insane. Am I just some sort of pet for you to play about with or something?”